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Me!

Rejection is such a painful word. Each one of us have at some point of time or the other experienced this. The first question that comes to mind is "Why me?" And "What have I done to deserve this?" I give a lot of advice and I get a lot of advice. So, when it comes to rejection and people say, "Oh, you will get over it soon and time is the best healer," blah blah.. you feel like socking the person who just mouthed those very words.

Why is it so hard to accept the fact that feelings can take an altogether different hue and that you can no longer be the No.1 person in somebody's life? Simplistically, the human heart is machined that way -- you love and you hate so much that if you could experience anything in between, you can't be real. So we have lovers slitting wrists because they can't be with the ones they love, etc. etc. That's India, haven't heard so much about it abroad. I guess like all things, romance is also a little mechanised there.

I felt broken and worthless the first time I ever felt rejection. Suddenly I wanted to look like Kate Moss and take on the world. But along with it, there came a process of rediscovery. I dugged up old friends and started to enjoy all over again the time spent doing useless things like scrabbling and exchange of prattlings; I spent more time with my family and I learnt to enjoy being around with people and doing things mundane, again. Maybe, we all learn to bounce back from a blow quicker. And so as the time flew, I grew in confidence and kicked my low self-esteem.

Looking back, has much changed? I used to feel inappropriately hungry all the time -- mistaking food for love is what my sister used to tell about me. Yes, but you will soon realise that no one can make you feel so bad for long. You just get over the hurt and move on. Interestingly, despite the rejection and what not, I've never felt so better in ages as I feel now. Because I continue to be Me and a better Me at that!

Comments

Snigdha said…
oops! what happened?
Indira said…
nothing... trying to understand people and trying to revisit some moments :)
Shanti Thokchom said…
i like that idea of a better YOU...go gal!! its for the best!! y break CHURI/KHUJI and stay like an ANGAOBI.....SONO PHONOBI..for nothing......ha..ha..ha.. keep blogging,sanatombi!!

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