Skip to main content

Kyunki Saas Bhi...

Saris, sindoor, mangalsutra and pujas -- that's the quintessential Indian woman, thanks to Ekta Kapoor. And the TRP ratings of her K-serials just shows how they have captured the imagination of every Indian household. But something is not alright with Kapoor's women. They have a facade and beneath the facade lies a sense of morality that is all screwed up. And she portrays just two kinds of women -- the vampire or the saint (in other words, the forever crying Miss Goodie).

What am I doing intellectualising stupid serials? The fact is, everyone is lost in them. And I care about what everyone thinks. And that's the point really. These women are so far fetched from reality, from the average Indian woman we come across that somewhere you feel the urge to tell the truth. This January, in the course of a short film making stint, I was disheartened by a truth that we comfortably shove into the background.

There is so much emphasis on getting married young that the average age for a woman becoming a mother is in the 15-18 year range, something more apparent among the lower income groups, and something not untrue for the middle income groups too. Little wonder than that the business of promoting sindurs and mangalsutras never had it so good. That includes you Ekta Kapoor.

And so disadvantaged are women that they have little or no choices about their lives. Women are a burden to society was a common refrain I heard. For some time, I couldn't deny being disturbed by the thought. The most important part about being a human being is the ability to feel respected about oneself, and when that is not there nothing on earth can make you feel good. Imagine living a life where you do not have any sense of worth, where there is no acknowledgement to any contribution you make be it in household chores or by way of being a mother. It's a scary thought.

Compliments or acknowledgements do not need to be perfect or come in all the time in life, but one needs it occasionally to feel alive. Honest to God, I need them once in a while.


Snigdha said…
How's the film project coming along? It is a scary thought, more so because it is real.

Popular posts from this blog

A Mad Man Or A Boor

What does one do when one encounters a mad dog? Or what does one do when one encounters a man with pre-fixed notions about everything in life, most specifically of women who live alone and give him some importance? The two are equivalent to me and basic intelligence says avoid the paths they tread like plague. But I chose to tackle them head on. I almost got rabbies.

The mad man said [sic] "You sound like a very desperate person. A single and frustrated woman who is looking for anyone to leave a comment on your blog so much so that you wouldn't even spare a spammer." Spammer being, the first comment on the previous post is apparently a spam, an advert for T-shirts. Bummer! I thought it was a handsome Spaniard or Latino, so I had replied "Hi Rodrigo", hoping to take the conversation forward offline. Anyway! All this the mad man found out. I didnt. Sure, I dig comments because I love the spontaneity and intelligence of my friends. And I didn't invite the mad m…

Glam Gurumaa

Have you ever met a so called godwoman or godman in person? Well I did and I have to talk about this one. On Tuesday night, I got a call asking if I would like to come and meet Anandmurti Gurumaa. My knowledge about ‘spiritual people’ as they would like to call themselves is zero because I have never taken interest in their ilk and India being full of conmen in the garb of spiritualists you tend to look at them with suspicion. I had a friend who stayed for weeks at a house cramped with people in a shady lane in Delhi and they were all fighting and scrambling for the baba’s attention. The baba would perform pujas during the evenings, make them drink and wash with ashes and they would pour heaps of money buying the essentials. The people went to him for all reasons – to sort marital discords, business failures, illnesses, and even vengeance on enemies! It was frightful. I had gone to meet the friend but after a few hours scooted away more scared I would pick a bug from the unhygienic su…

Them Versus Us

Taking off from the Shilpa 'Shitty' issue (I love the surname and that comes from my ever so humorous and intellectual friend Latha or Lotty with love and Angel No. 1 to some :)), here are some reflections on being a north easterner in the capital of the world's largest democracy. Also, Lotty, on a serious note, says I should have a NE angle to what I write. She has a point. I have enough material there, enough to give vent to.

I begin with 'oye Chinky'. When I came to Delhi in the mid 1990s to do a professional course, I wasn't sure what the word meant. Maybe I was too busy paying heed to my new found independence and the certain sense of security -- the fact that I could go to the market even at 10 pm without the peering eyes of the army or the CRPF personnel patrolling the streets and stiffling our existence. It wasn't until my course was over and I got myself a break as a sub editor with the country's premier news agency, that I had my first hand exp…