Skip to main content

Free Love

I open my backlog of weekend newspapers having been away and enjoy going through the spread of magazines and supplements with my morning cup of tea. A cover story on Spectrum, my favourite Saturday supplement of The Age, catches my attention. Titled ‘Between The Sheets’, it is as the synopsis says about how the new sexual revolution is wrecking lives. I read the article with utmost interest but I find it is not so much about extra marital affairs or one-night stands or free love or liberation, but the article is more about the fact that people don’t talk about sex, that they don’t have someone they feel comfortable enough to talk about it especially when they have a problem! So, they talk about “about bullshit or fantasy stuff”.

My exposure to sex on India television when growing up was watching two flowers bobbing together to depict any kissing scenes between two lovers. That was the high. Then came a bit of boldness with time and we did see a few kisses on screen, you know real lip locks but these were viewed with great embarrassment especially when you had the rest of the family members also glued to the TV.

Sex is such a taboo even now in India that we judge a person’s morality on the basis of the number of boyfriends she has had. If a woman has not married the first guy she has gone around with, and if she has had more than two boyfriends, we easily define her as a slut! And that is in the land of the Kamasutra where the erotic sculptures in the centuries old temples of Khajuraho are the cynosure of all eyes and explore every position that the human imagination can capture.

Last week, I watched the Dawn Porter show, where the 29-year old single journalist explores the idea of free love and travels the world – from America to Germany – to find the existence of a Utopian culture, for those who believe in it. Yes these things do exist and I had my education about a culture that left me hot and debating! In the places that Porter visits, there is a community where men and women while being monogamous have more than three or four lovers. For many, it is not so much about physical education, about controlling ejaculation or becoming more interested in sex but more about celebrating togetherness with the ones you love. There is total openness. 

There is an oil party in one such communal living in Germany. Dripping in oil, naked bodies are huddled together. There is no sex there but as the music and chants play in the background the group is shown getting into a trance like state as they slid and slide and feel one another. Porter is shown participating in and she comes out feeling wierd and laughing! Everyone else is serious. One member says, “We are not connecting through sex but through love and energy.”

The show does say that a lot of polyandry comes through swinging but the only difference here is that the friendship grows and it is not partner swap! I could not imagine watching such a show in India. But it was an eye opener. I like the idea that the media here is equipped with the boldness to explore every issue. And it also has to do with an audience that has the maturity to handle these shows or read about such things. As for free love, I don’t know if it sounds great. I am not judgmental about people pursuing free love but I think all love in life is not truly free and comes with a price. 


Popular posts from this blog

A Mad Man Or A Boor

What does one do when one encounters a mad dog? Or what does one do when one encounters a man with pre-fixed notions about everything in life, most specifically of women who live alone and give him some importance? The two are equivalent to me and basic intelligence says avoid the paths they tread like plague. But I chose to tackle them head on. I almost got rabbies. The mad man said [sic] " You sound like a very desperate person. A single and frustrated woman who is looking for anyone to leave a comment on your blog so much so that you wouldn't even spare a spammer ." Spammer being, the first comment on the previous post is apparently a spam, an advert for T-shirts. Bummer! I thought it was a handsome Spaniard or Latino, so I had replied "Hi Rodrigo", hoping to take the conversation forward offline. Anyway! All this the mad man found out. I didnt. Sure, I dig comments because I love the spontaneity and intelligence of my friends. And I didn't invite the ma


Two million people at the National Mall in Washington alone. The world watched too as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. So did I. I rudely cut roomie's soap operas and switched to CNN to witness history being created. Some day I may live to tell the tale of how Barack, the much touted Afro-American President of the United States, stumbled with his swearing-in oath. I was a bit disappointed as I watched the man who had run the most successful of election campaigns, the man who Americans were pinning their hopes on, take his oath. Clearly, he was under too much of a pressure to be the best. So before Chief Justice John Roberts could complete the first sentence, there was Obama abruptly breaking out into his first names... " I Barack Hussein Obama.." and then waited for the judge to complete the sentence.. The next line was even taxing. He stopped short after two words... " That I will excute ..." and then Justice Roberts cont

Good Girls Don't Drink?

I have been disturbed by the news coming out of my region – the northeast of India - where a teenage girl coming out of a bar at 9:30 pm was molested and beaten by a group of 20 men. The news has even found its way down under for the shocking nature of it. Tabloids and even TV have carried the news. I have always prided myself in belonging to a region that is known for its high tolerance and where women are generally safe and independent. But I have always felt a bit squidgy about Guwahati unlike the rest of the seven sisters. The place is so like the rest of India in many ways, dirty and claustrophobic. That explains why bars are looked upon as sleazy places and women going there beaten up as with the recent case. Just 150 km away is Shillong, the place where I grew up. Night clubs thrive there and till date there has been no case of attacks against women. Reading the news, I am appalled by some of the reactions. “But the girl was drinking,” or “only prostitutes visit that