Hope

My friend Sareeta flew from Sydney to be with me this weekend. God bless her heart! This morning my favourite trio Jules, JJ and Fred came home with lots of food and a bottle of wine. And Lolo says time I recharge my batteries and do some shopping. I don't feel up to it but he made me do it in the pretext of buying him some DVDs and trackpants. I don't feel like leaving the hospital. Everytime I walk out, I feel I am leaving my heart behind.

The haemaglobin count today is 95 and platelet 17,000. Positive signs say the doctor but nothing to be excited about as the neutrophils are still at zero. I guess with the body in such a state of shock after the therapy, it will take its time to shoot up. That I am positive about but this wait is painful as the body tires easily. 

I wonder what is going on in Lolo's mind sometimes as he stares blankly at everything. He can be reticent when he wants to but I see his eyes and they tell a thousand thoughts. Sometimes I am accurate. But I do know he sees my love and feels happy we are in it together. He is my greatest strength in life and he gives me the energy to pull through everything.

The days follow one another in endless succession. All of them marked by the same routines - coming in to the hospital following the drills of medications and othe rituals  and leaving with some hope. As the sun sets everyday, I heave a sigh of relief that all is OK so far. At the end of each day, I am left with a touch of hope.