Hate List

The hazards of living in Delhi. Talking about it is a pet peeve. Inquisitive neighbours. They pop their heads out ever readily whenever any guests come to visit you, and more so when the guests come in vehicles. And when they leave and you come out to bid the guests goodbye, they have that smile that kind of implores you to tell them all about the visitor or visitors. “Can’t be your brother, uncle, sister?” Er… well… you don’t oblige of course.

Uncivilised blueline drivers. We know about them and they are the most talked about for all their untamed ways. Even in the thick of traffic they would blare their horns and drive at break neck speed. Or, invariably they would slow down bang in the middle of the road any time to offload passengers or pick up a few. They are the king on Delhi’s roads. A few days back, I had a mishap and my first brush with the killer blueline. I was slowing down as the green light turned orange and bang the bugger swerves from the left to jump the red light. Before I realised my car was hit. I wanted to murder the driver but he was gone in no time, hopefully to eternal hell!

Shallow men. Why is Delhi so full of them? Typical example is a boyfriend of someone I know. Friend is in perpetual pain. Boy doesn’t want to totally severe ties but keeps her hanging with the best friend theory. “Let’s be friends always,” he tells her. But when she starts talking about long term plans, he disappears or is out of reach. And every second love story I hear has such a familiar twist to it. I can only come to the conclusion that men here are too much.

Vegetarian shit. I hate going to any parties, weddings or any get-togethers where the menu is laden with vegetarian fare even if it has the most exotic of names. And when I asked people why hosts are so inconsiderate about people like us, I get the most nonsensical of answers. “People serve vegetarian food during marriages here because it is an auspicious day and non-veg food is inauspicious.” Like hell. So is sex off the table too for married couples that day?
Hate List Hate List Reviewed by Indira on February 28, 2008 Rating: 5

4 comments:

Derek said...

Ladu, you weren't thinking of the Don when you got hit by the truck were you. If you were...then looks like you were literally struck by cupid’s arrow.

Jokes apart I agree with you on the blue-line buses. Interesting to know these guys kill hundreds every year. I think they should be renamed blood-line buses. Is the government doing anything about it? Well you basically summarized all the reasons why I never wanted to study or work in Delhi.

Anonymous said...

Your last line is hilarious! LOL - Kun Kun

snigdha said...

Were you talking on the phone when the bus hit you? :)

Indira said...

no sniggy wasnt on the phone!

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