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Some Things Don't Change...

Life is funny, but life also sucks and life hurts. Sometimes you try to run away from something and it pulls you back at the spot you didn't want to be in. Nomatter how much you fight it, nomatter the rationalisation, nomatter what, you succumb to the power of the pull.

So it all boils down to one thing: that some things don't really change... I cannot give advice about relationships but experiences, discourses reflect two things -- that there is nothing about love that makes you feel safe and there is nothing absolute about relationships. It can even go beyond limits, beyond the ideal family space you have created. Love can happen at any age in one's life.

When that happens, it is bound to stir a few things. And it sucks that some people trivialise love so they do not understand it at all. "You've broken up yet again". "You falling for that guy". "You know what you are getting into." "Oh, the excitement is because it is new, soon he will go back to where he belongs." But you make no room for anger yet because you are basking, yes basking in the experience and re-experience of it all.

And the feeling comes like the ebb and flow of tide. So there will be happy days, sad days, etc. But the feeling of happiness is certain. There is nothing like being happy in love. I could trade it for all the treasures in the world, the happiness of having the condidence that you have the love of someone who will always be behind you following you like your shadow. Then come the dreams along with it, and "you tread softly for you are treading on somebody's dreams."

Are some relationships forever? Not so long ago, a very close friend who was in love with someone for close to nine years and then got married to someone else said that she views relationships holistically. And the reason why her love for her first boyfriend hasn't died down despite being married to someone else for some years now. This is altogether taking the subject to another plane. But I admired her honesty and feelings."Most people see love in a very limited way, say, a simple thing like being a mother. How many mothers will do things to make a street kid happy? It's all about mine, my blood and the like." I want to take that free of judgement but I can't help wondering if all love can be equated. In the context of my friend I do believe. She is just so capable of loving beyond the ordinary, and much more.

As for romantic relationships, I don't want the feeling of newness to die, the process of discovery, the excitement and zing thing about just holding his hands and taking a walk. Because when the years add up, some of the most beautiful moments in life are taken for granted. I don't want to take my man for granted nor the relationship, ever.


Anonymous said…
Indira, Knowing you I know why you would also make this guy happy.You are confident,intelligent,personable,street-smart and educated.You are the complete package so I can understand why you also feel the way you do for your man.
Anonymous said…
I love you.
Shanti Thokchom said…
ahem!!!!! someone is bold enuff 2 say those words to u now ! this bodes well!!all I want is for you to be happy!! You deserve it after all these pain!! Be patient for now!!

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