Skip to main content

Judgmental

Sometimes my own thoughts scare me... I see a tomboy and think there comes another gay. I see a fat woman on the street and think, here is a lazy bone on a desi ghee diet. I see an unkempt person and I assume, this one feels miserable about life and couldn't care about appearances... Well I try not to go beyond this, but being me has its traits.

Some days ago, I was chatting with a buddy. Buddy asks, "do you still keep in touch with your ex?" I replied, "yes". He answered, "I don't know how you do it." My reply, "not everyone can keep relationships healthy." His remark, "you are the sentu types who can't let go." I logged off. We haven't spoken since. I didn't know what to make of this last sentence. So, when the table was turned around and I was judged, I just didn't like it.

The point is, I hate it when anything becomes a subject of character or moral judgement. So I have friends who are married and have boyfriends and they confide in me because I dont judge them. Sometimes I am their alibi if they have to go on a date. "The lies they spin and the web they weave", but at the end of the day, it's their life whether I morally agree with them or not. I like them individually and because they have two or three love lives at one time, I cannot choose to dislike them. That's their personal roadmap. The fact remains, they are my friends.

I guess our jugdgemental-ness stems from the way we are all brought up. It begins with your folks telling you, "oh we don't want to see you hanging around often with so and so, because she has a string of boyfriends," or because "he is a flirt." And therefore, you see, you can be influenced by the wrong people, never mind if she is a topper in the class. Parents are petrified of their children being morally spoilt and their check posts begin with judging your friend on the number of guy friends she has, even if she is not dating any one of them.

This is a universal parental trait I guess. When Upasna, my Canadian friend of Indian origin, told me how her parents are still reeling in the shock of her elder sister getting married to a white guy and how her life is more miserable now because of their extra strict ways, I thought, Indians, particularly, add a new dimension to moral judgemental-ness (the -ness is because I am not sure if there is such a word :) They sure add an emotional layer of energy, too, to the word!

Comments

Snigdha said…
since we're on judgemental, how's this one? indian journalists are sub-standard. guess who made that judgement!! :)
Indira said…
well i didn't deny being one. i only said i have a problem with character labellers.. u know what i mean:)

Popular posts from this blog

A Mad Man Or A Boor

What does one do when one encounters a mad dog? Or what does one do when one encounters a man with pre-fixed notions about everything in life, most specifically of women who live alone and give him some importance? The two are equivalent to me and basic intelligence says avoid the paths they tread like plague. But I chose to tackle them head on. I almost got rabbies.

The mad man said [sic] "You sound like a very desperate person. A single and frustrated woman who is looking for anyone to leave a comment on your blog so much so that you wouldn't even spare a spammer." Spammer being, the first comment on the previous post is apparently a spam, an advert for T-shirts. Bummer! I thought it was a handsome Spaniard or Latino, so I had replied "Hi Rodrigo", hoping to take the conversation forward offline. Anyway! All this the mad man found out. I didnt. Sure, I dig comments because I love the spontaneity and intelligence of my friends. And I didn't invite the mad m…

The Churn

11 am: There I was bang on time at work, perhaps, in a long time. The occasion: a meeting called by the top boss and compulsory attendance required. I am, as always, out of the loop. Reason being there is always so much happening in my life that I am always behind everything. That does not mean I fail to deliver! And unlike some people who are truly into perception management (will delve on it later) and are such repository for all 'inside news', office gossip and politics least interest me. I mean, who cares if someone is quitting for some place else or is having an affair with so and so, or is being transferred unless that person happens to be someone I am generally fond of. Maybe then I would have been privy to some of the classified information ahem... So, was I in for shock today?

The meeting was sombre and had a full house attendance. And then our top boss spilled the beans. Three of the men at the helm were either quitting or were assuming other responsibilities and a ne…

O-B-A-M-A

Two million people at the National Mall in Washington alone. The world watched too as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. So did I. I rudely cut roomie's soap operas and switched to CNN to witness history being created. Some day I may live to tell the tale of how Barack, the much touted Afro-American President of the United States, stumbled with his swearing-in oath.

I was a bit disappointed as I watched the man who had run the most successful of election campaigns, the man who Americans were pinning their hopes on, take his oath. Clearly, he was under too much of a pressure to be the best. So before Chief Justice John Roberts could complete the first sentence, there was Obama abruptly breaking out into his first names... "I Barack Hussein Obama.." and then waited for the judge to complete the sentence.. The next line was even taxing. He stopped short after two words... "That I will excute..." and then Justice Roberts continued…