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Accent FAKE'cent

Frankly I need a tutor to teach me to pronounce words the Aussie way. I go to a shop and buy a pair of shades and I ask for a case (as they normally do come with a case in India) and the ever-smiling, customer-friendly cashier replies, "A page?" I say, "No, a case", she replies, "Oh no, no case." Page and case. I walk out of the shop wondering do they really rhyme?

Every third day, I walk down to the bakery to buy bread. Lolo says I must get "high fibre, low GI, sandwich bread." I repeat it 10 times as I walk along the quiet road to make the words flow and twirl and make myself understood at the counter. Low IQ? No, low GI.

I tell the recruitment agency on phone, I am looking for the right opportunity and she goes "ah w-h-a-t?" Common I said opportunity and not forsshunitty. Damn! I think my English is not heavily influenced by my mother tongue. I take pride in the way I speak but alas very few understand me here. No matter how I put it, the look on the other side has a "pardon me?" Hmmmm...

And so you will find all new settlers speak with an exaggerated accent. Hello, said a friend's friend recently. We were meeting up for a party. The dress code for the party, he said, should be "waists and shorts for men and dresses for women." I thought waist was a brand I was not familiar with. I found out later he meant vests. I think I am better off.


Anonymous said…
Nandini said...
Desichick you make a lot of sense to me! Keep it up! I am a fan already!

Laxmi said...
had a laugh riot reading this...can totally relate...first time i had gone to Sydney i was told that ppl will greet me on the street and i was supposed to reply back...i remember being all nervous and practicing what to reply in my head so many times :) I had to change my mindset completely - if someone in Delhi smiled at me on the street - i'd respond with a mean - scary stare so they wldnt try acting smart and there in Sydney i had to smile back and even give a friendly greeting :)

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