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Phoney Guy

I am tempted to write about this one. It's not a breach of privacy because I am not taking names. For the past one week, I have a young friend staying with me. Friend is heartbroken. She couldn't bear the heartache alone so she packed her stuff and came over. She even bunked work the whole of last week and was cooped up in my room with the TV for solace and me for company.

Every night the talks would veer from calm and nostalgia to emotional outbursts. "I am leaving this city. I am going home", she told me in between her sobs. Am not good at handling the latter, so while my friend wept I was as blunt as could be, "What will you go back and do? Leave the bastard, don't take his call." I think it helped in a way. Friend no longer sobs.

It's a familiar love story that began at a birthday party. Friend meets guy. Exchanges numbers. Guy pursues her. Friend gives in. Six months into a rollicking affair.Then enters a third person into the scene and all hell breaks loose. Third person calls herself a friend of the guy (they met three years back online) and moves at guy's apartment as a stop gap arrangement till she finds a hostel. Friend can't take this, argues with guy. Guy has no explanation, tells friend, "I dont want to lose you as a good friend," while keeping himself busy with third person. Haven't we heard this before? The good friend funda.

I asked friend why guy didnt let the third person stay with her if she was just a friend? "Shouldn't he be doing the things that does not hurt you if he truly loves you?" Friend says he has changed suddenly, "Does not want to meet me nor has introduced me to third person, says I will create a scene." Excuse, excuse, excuse, I told her. He wants his cake and eat it too. In other words, wants to have fun with both at one time. What else do you make of this story? Of a seemingly perfect guy who suddenly changes skin that he doesn't even want to meet his girl when she is ill. Friend did have an asthmatic attack one night.

So, tonight I asked friend what she thought of the relationship, whether she has mentally resolved to ditch him. She said, "I dont know, he called me seven times and asked who I was talking to when I didnt answer the phone." I said, "You should have told him you were talking to his substitute." She replied, "We are so used to talking to each other that we keep talking." Then why doesnt he meet you and explain the third person mystery. She said, "Maybe, in time, when he realises he is fed up of her."

She went on, "He is actually very caring and he knows I am different from the other girls." How I asked. She said, "I dont take advantage of him and I am faithful." Shouldn't he be faithful too? I asked. In his defence, she said, "Guy said I am being plain jealous and that he has nothing with third person." Clearly, her feelings have begun to thaw and she is slowly reposing her faith in him despite him showing no attempt to breach the misunderstanding or showing third person the door. It's obvious third person is no mere friend cos guy had once told friend that third person was someone he was dating online and that she was pretty attractive.

I am trying to analyse the situation. Friend is so hurt that she told me she wishes he would come just once to meet her and explain where she stood vis-a-vis their relation. Guy is absconding but for some reason, guy keeps in touch with her. Although on Sunday night I wanted to test him and asked her to call him at 11 pm to check if he picks up the phone. He didn't despite 4-5 missed calls. Earlier, he would either come running or pick her phone at the first instance. Next morning he called her and told her he was in office for some emergency so he could not pick her call. What a piece of lie! Naive friend believed. But I told her that the signs were ripe, that the warranty period in the relationship was over.

Despite attempts to draw phoney guy out of her life, they seem feeble. Friend is still clinging on to the hope that guy will come and meet her soon. "He loves me," I know it, she keeps reassuring herself. It's the phone calls that are keeping her alive. I am tempted to pick up the phone and tell guy to take someone else for a ride. But in the face of this tragi-comedy playing before my eyes, I can fathom how shallow relationships can be and how hurtful they can be for the one who has loved without a reason...

Comments

Anonymous said…
Indira,

Tell your friend that the pain of now is far, far and far better than the prolonged agony of a dickhead like the dude.

There can be nothing more reassuring for this person than to know that there is someone who will like her more genuinely and truly than this idiot. The pain of now is worth it just for the beautiful tomorrow. Why spoil that beautiful tomorrow by settling for this dickhead?

I tell from experience :)

- Ekalavya
annie said…
I can exactly relate to what your friend is goin through.You know when a person is hopelessly in love, then one gets blindfolded to all realities no matter how harsh they maybe. It's not easy to let go off that love so easily..A hope is keepin her goin...and bleive me that must be a great deal for her.

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